... I'm fecked if I know. Sorry.
I wish I was able to give some wealth of insight here - some mystical wisdom that will make everything better - but sadly, I'm me - so I don't have much. But I'm trying to stay positive - even though I'm married to an introvert that thinks all his Christmasses have come at once. I mean he barely has noticed anything is amiss. He says he is living the dream. If he didn't cook up a storm every evening (I may leave here on a mobility scooter in 3 months) I would murder him. So how am I getting through - bearing in mind it is day 3? (3!!!!Sweet Jaysus)? (Forgive me if this rambles. My head is FRIED).
For the kids:
So yes, we have made a time table and it lasts until exactly 10:30am. Then they take a break and play football and cricket and do some gardening and beg to camp outside (soon, little do they know, but I'll be so stressed they will LIVING in that tent outside) and all in all we haven't done much studying. I'm not too bothered - because there will be rainy days when all they will do is study and also - dear god, we have sunshine - so we may as well get out in it before it rains and we all weep onto our devices...
But my timetable is as follows:
8am - Walk
Up the hill and through the forest next to where I live. I'm actually loving this and we actually talk which we maybe last did.... in the summer of 2005 before we had kids.
9am - Joe Wicks PE.
I love him. Bless you Joe for getting us all dressed and throwing mad shapes at 9am. I keep convincing myself that by the end of all this I too will have abs like sweet tiny Joe. But then I delve into the kids' easter eggs at 11am - just the back mind, so from the front they look untouched. How's that for genius?
9:30am - 10am Reading
This has turned into breakfast, the first row between my kids of the day and then they finally they settle down to work. We fight over the computer as the laptop is being repaired. I think - is it too early to drink yet? They make up and giggle at each other and refuse to read. Husband on a work call and we are all meant to be silent as the tomb. This is all going very well. Not. I eye the vodka.
10:30 -11:15 Maths
By the end of this time, my kids run into the garden for break time and essentially don't come inside until 3pm... I try to do some reading/emailing writing and then give up and sit in the garden with a book. Checking on the Guardian Corona Virus update every 20 seconds and unable to concentrate because what if I never get a can of lentils in Waitrose again?? Or Yorkshire tea?? Meanwhile every 3 seconds I hear - 'Mum Mum Mum!!' I ignore them so my daughter has started saying 'Suzanne?'
3pm
We all decide we should do some work just as husband decides he wants to prepare dinner. My teenage son explains his work all has to be done for some time in the distant future and my daughter looks at her home-made timetable and does what she fancies for about half an hour and WHY oh WHY is all of this homework/schooling only done on a device - meaning HOW ON EARTH am I meant to do any work? I look at the laundry pile that is the size of Everest and think - why bother? Not got anything on this week or indeed ever...
5pm
The house looks like a war zone and my children have managed to get changed 3 times today. We try and FaceTime/Houseparty family or friends but there are little boxes with too many people and my god - I have seen myself on screen and I need a LOT of help in the eye area. My roots need done. Oh well, they will be. Next year. We all talk at the same time and no one can hear anything so we all drink like fish and laugh about how insane this all is. Just as it gets interesting the screen goes black and we all attempt a meet again and then give up and finish the bottle of wine. Time to open another eh?
7pm
We eat dinner. Husband bitter about filling the dishwasher 'for the third time today.' The kids have their 10,000th argument of the day. I ask for a table family meal and my teenager points out that we don't need to ask 'how was your day' because we lived and breathed every minute together. So we all watch that mad animal man on Netflix and try and decide which one is more mad/evil/murderous... Wine never tasted so wonderful.
9pm
We all have given up on boardgames and head to bed. Because tomorrow - YAY - we can do it all again.
So my top tips:
1. The good thing is - if you avoid the news - it is all quite relaxing. No make up, why shower? I'm living in gym gear and keep promising to go for a run... But they key is - do NOT keep checking in on the news/social media because it is wildly anxiety inducing. Whispers of living like this for 18 months. Information overload. I keep holding the thought of September back to school again. I mean, it's so close isn't it? *Reaches for the gin*
2. Do keep moving. Who knew that a walk was so wonderful. I mean just getting to exercise feels like a treat.
3. Do a clear out. I mean if you can be motivated. My problem is I keep thinking - well, I've got months - so I don't have that kick up the arse I need But if you can clear out that room/shed/wardrobe. I'm doing the shed of Saturday - because I have to have something to look forward to don't I? *weeps*
4. Do lots of face timing even though downloading Teams has proved a nightmare and don't get me started on Zoom and why can't I hear anything on House Party? But try because isn't it wonderful to see those faces of folk you miss? Just think of a sunny day in a pub garden, cold drink in hand, buddies all around. I mean - IT WILL BE AMAZING. I'm getting my Irish muckers together the second I can. They have no say in the matter.
5. Find a project apparently. Now mine is to get my Fimo out (I ordered a tonne) as I used to sell broaches back at school. Had a slight production problem when the pigs ears all fell off and everyone wanted a refund 'Er... Suzanne, it looks like I'm wearing a potato' - but I aim to take it up again. I haven't made Fimo stuff since I made all my wedding invitations - because I had so much time on my hands in those days... I've also ordered waders and my kids will be clearing the stream of all debris and rubbish... And they will be doing all the gardening I can't be bothered with. But get into yoga/sewing/cocktail making (that I love) or cooking or whatever - now is the time to learn Spanish...
6. It is ok to veg. It is ok to not know what the fuck you are doing. I don't. I mean its easy to have order when you have to be somewhere by X or to meet so and so by Y. But when we stare into the abyss of time, it is hard to get your arse off the sofa. So don't. Watch movies, box sets, read books and CHILL. You deserve it. I know we might not have work/jobs/anything left at the end of this - but we can't control it, we can't change stuff - so just BREATHE.
Get into Friday Night lights, Russian Doll, Glow, The first two seasons of Fargo, Parks and Rec (There is NO better series to watch with your kids I swear. I dream of being Leslie - she is a goddess and my husband is Ron Swanson. Except sadly he can't do DIY). Mind Hunter. Unreal is trashy but fun and I liked The Society on Netflix which is about a group of teens and something weird happens and they are left alone in their town... (Bit like life now I expect. Except they are all young and hot).
Films - Summer 1993, Whiplash, Toy Story 3, The Lives of Others, Me Earl and the Dying girl, '91, Big Fish, Room, Martha Marcy May Marlene, The Squid and the Whale, Call Me By Your Name, Boyhood, Custody, Brokeback Mountain, Almost Famous, In the Bedroom, Drive, Little Miss Sunshine, A Hidden Life, The Virgin Suicides, The Social Network, After Hours, Halloween - all my favs...
9. Help your elderly neighbours... Its so lovely to get their shopping and to have a very very brief chat - at a distance - as you drop it off for them. Connecting with community honestly is the way forward and frankly what we all should be doing anyway.
10. Look through old photo albums and diaries and remember all the stuff that you have survived in life - from broken hearts to horrible illnesses to losing jobs to being broke - we've all got through in the end. We are all in the same boat at the moment and no one knows how to get through this or what world we will come out to - but maybe it will be a better one? Where we care less about how we look all the time and about trash reality tv and social media and more about people, being present and all that warm fluffy nice stuff. Maybe we will all be much more appreciative of all we have...
I miss people. The cinema. My college. Cold water swimming. But it will all come back and I will thank my lucky stars every time I get to do one of those things - and I will hug my friends and family so tightly... I always valued them but this has put into perspective the folk that mean the most to me. One sent me a video of us all in a pub when my mate Blair was over from Oz and we all congregated in London (coming from from Belfast, Glasgow, Newcastle etc...). In it we are drunk and being stupid and talking rubbish and it looks like just about the best moment ever. My mate said - 'more good times to come.' There will be. Keep her lit.
(And wash your hands).
CM xx
I wish I was able to give some wealth of insight here - some mystical wisdom that will make everything better - but sadly, I'm me - so I don't have much. But I'm trying to stay positive - even though I'm married to an introvert that thinks all his Christmasses have come at once. I mean he barely has noticed anything is amiss. He says he is living the dream. If he didn't cook up a storm every evening (I may leave here on a mobility scooter in 3 months) I would murder him. So how am I getting through - bearing in mind it is day 3? (3!!!!Sweet Jaysus)? (Forgive me if this rambles. My head is FRIED).
For the kids:
So yes, we have made a time table and it lasts until exactly 10:30am. Then they take a break and play football and cricket and do some gardening and beg to camp outside (soon, little do they know, but I'll be so stressed they will LIVING in that tent outside) and all in all we haven't done much studying. I'm not too bothered - because there will be rainy days when all they will do is study and also - dear god, we have sunshine - so we may as well get out in it before it rains and we all weep onto our devices...
But my timetable is as follows:
8am - Walk
Up the hill and through the forest next to where I live. I'm actually loving this and we actually talk which we maybe last did.... in the summer of 2005 before we had kids.
9am - Joe Wicks PE.
I love him. Bless you Joe for getting us all dressed and throwing mad shapes at 9am. I keep convincing myself that by the end of all this I too will have abs like sweet tiny Joe. But then I delve into the kids' easter eggs at 11am - just the back mind, so from the front they look untouched. How's that for genius?
9:30am - 10am Reading
This has turned into breakfast, the first row between my kids of the day and then they finally they settle down to work. We fight over the computer as the laptop is being repaired. I think - is it too early to drink yet? They make up and giggle at each other and refuse to read. Husband on a work call and we are all meant to be silent as the tomb. This is all going very well. Not. I eye the vodka.
10:30 -11:15 Maths
By the end of this time, my kids run into the garden for break time and essentially don't come inside until 3pm... I try to do some reading/emailing writing and then give up and sit in the garden with a book. Checking on the Guardian Corona Virus update every 20 seconds and unable to concentrate because what if I never get a can of lentils in Waitrose again?? Or Yorkshire tea?? Meanwhile every 3 seconds I hear - 'Mum Mum Mum!!' I ignore them so my daughter has started saying 'Suzanne?'
3pm
We all decide we should do some work just as husband decides he wants to prepare dinner. My teenage son explains his work all has to be done for some time in the distant future and my daughter looks at her home-made timetable and does what she fancies for about half an hour and WHY oh WHY is all of this homework/schooling only done on a device - meaning HOW ON EARTH am I meant to do any work? I look at the laundry pile that is the size of Everest and think - why bother? Not got anything on this week or indeed ever...
5pm
The house looks like a war zone and my children have managed to get changed 3 times today. We try and FaceTime/Houseparty family or friends but there are little boxes with too many people and my god - I have seen myself on screen and I need a LOT of help in the eye area. My roots need done. Oh well, they will be. Next year. We all talk at the same time and no one can hear anything so we all drink like fish and laugh about how insane this all is. Just as it gets interesting the screen goes black and we all attempt a meet again and then give up and finish the bottle of wine. Time to open another eh?
7pm
We eat dinner. Husband bitter about filling the dishwasher 'for the third time today.' The kids have their 10,000th argument of the day. I ask for a table family meal and my teenager points out that we don't need to ask 'how was your day' because we lived and breathed every minute together. So we all watch that mad animal man on Netflix and try and decide which one is more mad/evil/murderous... Wine never tasted so wonderful.
9pm
We all have given up on boardgames and head to bed. Because tomorrow - YAY - we can do it all again.
So my top tips:
1. The good thing is - if you avoid the news - it is all quite relaxing. No make up, why shower? I'm living in gym gear and keep promising to go for a run... But they key is - do NOT keep checking in on the news/social media because it is wildly anxiety inducing. Whispers of living like this for 18 months. Information overload. I keep holding the thought of September back to school again. I mean, it's so close isn't it? *Reaches for the gin*
2. Do keep moving. Who knew that a walk was so wonderful. I mean just getting to exercise feels like a treat.
3. Do a clear out. I mean if you can be motivated. My problem is I keep thinking - well, I've got months - so I don't have that kick up the arse I need But if you can clear out that room/shed/wardrobe. I'm doing the shed of Saturday - because I have to have something to look forward to don't I? *weeps*
4. Do lots of face timing even though downloading Teams has proved a nightmare and don't get me started on Zoom and why can't I hear anything on House Party? But try because isn't it wonderful to see those faces of folk you miss? Just think of a sunny day in a pub garden, cold drink in hand, buddies all around. I mean - IT WILL BE AMAZING. I'm getting my Irish muckers together the second I can. They have no say in the matter.
5. Find a project apparently. Now mine is to get my Fimo out (I ordered a tonne) as I used to sell broaches back at school. Had a slight production problem when the pigs ears all fell off and everyone wanted a refund 'Er... Suzanne, it looks like I'm wearing a potato' - but I aim to take it up again. I haven't made Fimo stuff since I made all my wedding invitations - because I had so much time on my hands in those days... I've also ordered waders and my kids will be clearing the stream of all debris and rubbish... And they will be doing all the gardening I can't be bothered with. But get into yoga/sewing/cocktail making (that I love) or cooking or whatever - now is the time to learn Spanish...
6. It is ok to veg. It is ok to not know what the fuck you are doing. I don't. I mean its easy to have order when you have to be somewhere by X or to meet so and so by Y. But when we stare into the abyss of time, it is hard to get your arse off the sofa. So don't. Watch movies, box sets, read books and CHILL. You deserve it. I know we might not have work/jobs/anything left at the end of this - but we can't control it, we can't change stuff - so just BREATHE.
Get into Friday Night lights, Russian Doll, Glow, The first two seasons of Fargo, Parks and Rec (There is NO better series to watch with your kids I swear. I dream of being Leslie - she is a goddess and my husband is Ron Swanson. Except sadly he can't do DIY). Mind Hunter. Unreal is trashy but fun and I liked The Society on Netflix which is about a group of teens and something weird happens and they are left alone in their town... (Bit like life now I expect. Except they are all young and hot).
Films - Summer 1993, Whiplash, Toy Story 3, The Lives of Others, Me Earl and the Dying girl, '91, Big Fish, Room, Martha Marcy May Marlene, The Squid and the Whale, Call Me By Your Name, Boyhood, Custody, Brokeback Mountain, Almost Famous, In the Bedroom, Drive, Little Miss Sunshine, A Hidden Life, The Virgin Suicides, The Social Network, After Hours, Halloween - all my favs...
9. Help your elderly neighbours... Its so lovely to get their shopping and to have a very very brief chat - at a distance - as you drop it off for them. Connecting with community honestly is the way forward and frankly what we all should be doing anyway.
10. Look through old photo albums and diaries and remember all the stuff that you have survived in life - from broken hearts to horrible illnesses to losing jobs to being broke - we've all got through in the end. We are all in the same boat at the moment and no one knows how to get through this or what world we will come out to - but maybe it will be a better one? Where we care less about how we look all the time and about trash reality tv and social media and more about people, being present and all that warm fluffy nice stuff. Maybe we will all be much more appreciative of all we have...
I miss people. The cinema. My college. Cold water swimming. But it will all come back and I will thank my lucky stars every time I get to do one of those things - and I will hug my friends and family so tightly... I always valued them but this has put into perspective the folk that mean the most to me. One sent me a video of us all in a pub when my mate Blair was over from Oz and we all congregated in London (coming from from Belfast, Glasgow, Newcastle etc...). In it we are drunk and being stupid and talking rubbish and it looks like just about the best moment ever. My mate said - 'more good times to come.' There will be. Keep her lit.
(And wash your hands).
CM xx
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