2023 in a nutshell

As someone who kept (tragic) diaries from the age of 8 - 28, I cannot let a whole year go by without reflecting on it somewhat. 2023 may have been my most successful year of work but I fear it perhaps lacked the glitter of 2022. That year I graduated as a counsellor, had a magical holiday in Greece and got to work with fab people on a fun (if extraordinarily difficult to write) show. It was manic - with not a weekend off between April- July - but all those hours of counselling folk (100 in order to graduate) and frantic essay writing was undeniably worth it - and I felt like the whole 4.5 years had been one long therapy session. I miss college still - a moment where every week I got asked: 'how are you?' and I really had to answer... no waffling: 'not bad thanks' but a real look at the gnarly stuff going on in my head...

So 2023, the world on fire and I turned 50. I always remember Dawn French (who I was lucky enough to see this year - thanks Sam) saying that she was delighted to get to 60, as many of her friends hadn't. It is a privilege to age. With the loss of my step-sister at 60 (which feels so young) I thought fuck it - and had a party... Bar a dodgy lamp short circuiting the electrics the minute the hog was put on to roast and it being the most sweltering of summer nights, it was perfect. My actual b'day was spent in Boscastle, visiting a witches museum and having to eat outside the wonderful Rockstore restaurant so our dog could join us. It was April and we froze our asses off - but at least my favourite hairy beast was by my side. 

50 aint bad, bar the dreaded M word - wombless, I have no idea if I am pre/mid/post - but it sure keeps my husband on his toes... It's a bit of a rollercoaster. To offset the fact that if I so much as sniff a piece of beloved shortbread I put on 3kgs - I've taken to going to brutal reformer pilates and it is a miracle. That, dog walking and my weekly cold swims keep me sane... 

I'm grateful for my health - although a vicious lurgy wiped me out before Xmas and reminded me that we winter for a reason.... 4 trips up north, two weddings and a bar mitzvah coupled with a new job counselling in a 'challenging' school one day a week was all too much. Next year I will hibernate from Halloween until March... 

The new job has made me realise how totally screwed our education system is - don't for a second tell me that a homeless child bouncing between hotels getting a C in a GCSE is the same as privately educated, tutored to within an inch of their lives kid, getting an A. Why is the whole schooling system based on exams - a certain method of learning - in the first place? AsI painted my picket fence black (yes we look like the goths of the lane) I listened to a brilliant podcast with Louis Theroux talking to his cousin Justin Theroux - and they discussed their wildly different upbringings on either side of the pond. Louis - privately educated at Westminster, Oxford and then the world of investigative journalism. Justin admitted had he grown up in England he would have disappeared between the cracks - academia not his forte. He went to a local college and discovered a passion for acting. Arguably the more successful of the two - Justin knew that the UK education system wouldn't have worked in his favour; he attended the Buxton school in Massachusetts - where the grading system is based on report conferences - not exams...  I digress... It is just the UNFAIRNESS of the cards folk can be dealt with early in life and how hard it is to climb out of the poverty trap - even in 2023 - astounds me. Until the education system changes - a more fair playing field - I don't see how things will improve for the less privileged children....

What have learnt this year? To accept loss. Or try to... My family circle grows smaller. My friendship one too. It is difficult watching one's parents age and deteriorate. Time races by. People, behaviours, thoughts - no longer serve us and life moves on...  A great lunch in York with my friend Chris gave me much food for thought: are we only real in the consciousness of others - he suggested. Having stopped worrying about anything as he approaches 70, I could take a few pages from his book... I stress over the small things too much - I need to let go and trust the universe a bit more. Hippy that I am at heart....

So I'm putting up some pics to remind me of this year and glorious moments: the freezing swims, Kings of Leon in er... Wrexham; Amsterdam for one night only (think that's all we can take at 50); watching a dear friend be the most beautiful bride; Sicily and Sproglette managing to break a $400 table(!!!); hen dos and high teas; 50th gigs (V I'm looking at you) rainy dog walks; uni visits; the campest/most pink wedding (with THE best curry - the broccoli YUM ) I have ever been to by a country mile; Fischers and La Fromagerie on Xmas EVE and all the lovely moments I have been lucky enough to share with friends and family. It's my own personal photo diary if you will... 

Here's to 2024 - may it be kind to us all. Nothing but peace and love. CM x