Wednesday, 30 September 2009

Been there done that...

Reading through the entries for The Girl Who's monthly blog competition I noticed one writer listed things she had done - such as surviving 4 hurricanes, living in 5 states etc.

It made me think about all the stuff I've managed to pack into my 36 years - most of them pre-Sproglet:

I've trained as a life coach. I've earned a living as kid's TV presenter, showbiz reporter, film reviewer, associate producer, script editor, barmaid and won Gap's northern employee of the month... Oh yes. I can fold with the best of them. Learned to water-ski (badly). Interviewed DiCaprio (twice), Scorscese, Samuel L Jackson, Vivienne Westwood, Robbie Williams, Frenchie from Grease, Bjork and Helen Mirren amongst others. Told Micheal Stipe drunkenly that 'everybody does indeed hurt...' Married the same man - twice. Fought for and got a C section. Had my teeth fixed. Skinny dipped in Thailand in the middle of a thunderstorm. Got a small tattoo. Had (my only) one night stand with a famous US TV star. Got my heart broken by a director who went on to marry a supermodel. Bitter? Moi? Dyed my hair red and blonde together and separately. Had millionaires pay for my friend and I to stay at the Shangri La hotel in Hong Kong - for a week. White water rafted. Been taught to salsa dance by Will Smith. Bought two properties - both while I was unemployed - go figure. Become a volunteer. Lived in a disused restaurant in Melbourne. Travelled 1st class on Eurostar. Drank cool beers in New Zealand hot tubs. Been inside the Taj Mahal. Nearly got eaten by Jaws at the ancient Florida fun ride. Hosted a weekly live debate show. Asked a boy for a date in an Xmas card and hand delivered the card. He said no. Completed two sponsored silences and was heavily sponsored. Eaten a 22 course meal at El Bulli. Bliss. Stood at the top of the Empire State building at 8am, alone. Blade skated in Vondel Park in Amsterdam. Owned a pair of Manolos. Mastered cartwheeling - in heels - drunk. Fell in love for the first time in Berlin, at 17. Went back a year later, had my heart broken in Berlin, at 18. Lied my way into Paris Fashion week. Attended a human autopsy - the smell of a human heart has never left me. Produced a series of Topless Darts at the Circus, with a dwarf as the ringmaster, in a disused circus in Great Yarmouth - in November. Snorkelled in the Maldives. Windsurfed. Written off my car in the snow. Haggled in a souk. Visited Mozart's house in Vienna. Kissed a girl and liked it. Had a fling at 27 with a cute boy who worked in a cookie store and told me he was 20. At my work's Xmas do his best mate told me and my assembled colleagues and bosses that cookie boy was in fact...17. I don't regret it. Presented a dating show. Taken a film class. Learned pottery. Had a tango lesson. Broken my arm in 3 places. Survived a Brazilian wax. Learned to roll a perfect er... cigarette. Paintballed and seized two of the 3 flags. Danced on top of the Felix bar in Hong Kong. Been asked to leave the Felix bar in Hong Kong. Star bothered John Galliano and Starsky - or was it Hutch? Not in the same evening. Had a Halloween themed wedding. Watched fireworks in the snow on New Years Eve. Been a bridesmaid 5 times. Discovered cooking and the joy of going to the cinema alone. Worked out how to use tit tape. Cycled in London. Slept under the stars. Seen Prince in concert 3 times. Got my bronze Duke of Edinburgh. Captained a debating society. Learned how to put on make-up. Still learning how to save money. Stayed at The Mercer NY. Visited the old leper colony Spinalonga in Crete. Eaten lamb's brains. Caught crabs and cooked them in Perth. Danced in Paris. Survived 3 broken hearts and one pregnancy.

Phew!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow! What a life! I've so many things to ask that I don't know where to start! So many blog entries I hope one day you'll write!
No surprise you're writing tv shows, it seems your life has been enough full of events to have something to say!
But... Salsa with Will Smith... oh... my... God... Do you know if he's still giving some classes, I'm a good learner! :D

Serena from Italy said...

Ops, I didn't sign my previous comment...

free said...

Caught crabs and cooked them? That is the title of the book or film of the life surely? Bxxx

crummymummy said...

Sea crabs... SEA crabs. Of course. Like the title though x

EDW said...

I would so love you to go through and write about some of these! Married the same man twice?

crummymummy said...

http://crummymummywhodrinks.blogspot.com/2009/04/for-better-or-worse.html

EDW - that particular story is above... Must get round to telling a few of the others...