Monday, 11 January 2010

I heart the VSBs

I got in trouble last night. Yep. Not for flirting with hot young men, dancing on tables, flashing my pants, rocking in at 3am or the like. No, I was back 27 minutes late from the video store and had missed doing bath time. I know, I know, is the DVD store these days, but in my tiny mind it will always be the video store.

I'll let you in on a secret. The video store is my guilty pleasure. I while away my time there shooting the breeze with the Video Store Boys whenever I get the chance. They aren't the first bunch of VSBs that I have engaged with. No, I'm a bit of hussy when it comes to VSBs - I'll hang out with any of 'em that wanna debate the merits of the latest releases, salty versus sweet and our big top five movies - ever/of the noughties/80s etc.

At the moment I don't have to pay for any DVDs I rent as one VSB and I have sufficiently bonded. He is a typical VSB: talks like he is permanently stoned, smokes rollies, wants to get into 'music, man' and is more often than not depressed. I love him. He strokes Sproglet's hair, gives us free popcorn and relishes the opportunity to make a few suggestions other than the bog standard 'watch The Hangover, yeah great Friday night movie mate.'

He has a new mate working there who is obscenely cute: swollen lips that look almost bruised, huge puppy eyes, knife edge cheekbones and an exclamation mark of hair. He is dating the keyboard player in a hip band that naturally I have never heard of. Last night they asked me my fav ever movie - a question to live or die by in my book - and I muttered 'Amadeus.' (A Milos Forman masterpiece: The man. The music. The magic. The madness. The murder. The mystery. The motion picture). Both had never seen it. Phew! I lived to breathe another day - until they watch it and give their verdicts at least. I gave them the hard sell and they bought it. Obscenely cute one listed all other Milos Forman directed movies and wagered it would be good. For one glorious moment I felt I had imparted wisdom. Plus the cute one eyed me differently and I knew that his judgement on me had changed in that split second. As I said, live or die by your choices in the video store...

Thing is, for those precious 27 mins I am young again. We banter and show off movie knowledge and appreciate opinions and time just races by. VSB told me that I'm not like the desperate housewives where I live - the ultimate compliment. He's just back from some exotic holiday and looks far too healthy for the usual VSB pallor. One that is slightly vampirish - they sleep all day and only come alive while online/downloading/watching box sets at night.

There is one VSB who I don't click with. He looks afraid every time I enter the shop, his black curls falling over his face as he buries his head in the computer and desperately wishes that I would remain silent. He answers in a monosyallbic way and can barely string a sentance together. But I force him - I make him talk to me - every constipated word squeezed from his lips is pure agony for him. But I have met his sort before - when I lived in central London our local VSB ignored me some days, other days chatted like a long lost friend. He was utterly mad - and still, I won him over, or perhaps more correctly, wore him down. Sullen VSB knows I am wishing that one of the other VSBs was around instead, but is duty bound to keep the customer happy and entertain me with some idle chat for a minute or two. He always gives in, his need to impart movie wisdom greater than his need to snub.

Healthy lookin' VSB is threatening to quit which dismays me beyond belief - not only because my freebies will stop - but where will I get my VSB fix? Although I console myself with the thought that I have laid enough groundwork with cute VSB to warrent a 3 for two deal at least. Gawd bless the VSBs!


Knackered Mother said...

What a BRILLIANT blog. So very funny, real and warm. I love that you love Chuck Bass, he's my secret crush x

Anonymous said...

Brilliantly written. Love this - God bless the VSB's!