Friday, 11 February 2011

So, how you doin?

I was lookin' back over my blog and all the various comments you guys have so kindly left on it and I thought to myself - this has been a very one-sided friendship - with me doin' all the talking. Which I know, is the point of a blog. But it got me thinking - who reads this blog? Why bother to check in with my dreary non glam existence? Do you check in weekly, monthly, every blue moon? Some folk have really helped me through difficult times with their kind words and cheery well meant suggestions - for example, the fabulous 8 who commented when I was at an all time low...

I'm genuinely curious about the folk that read this - as I honestly started this blog way back in 2008 - purely for myself, as a way to vent and in the hope that someone out there might identify with it and somehow feel less alone. I wanted to dispel the myths of motherhood and to lay some honest opinions on the line - possibly because becoming a mother was the loneliest thing I ever did (at the time) and I wanted to scream from the rooftops 'no one ever told me it would be like this!!!'

Some of my friends read the blog rather than calling (Caroline... *wags stern finger at her*); The Girl Who has championed it on various sites (Gawd bless Monica - she inspired me to blog to begin with as her own is just so brilliant) and apart from that some names keep reappearing on the commenters - Keenie Beenie, Chaos, Liz (Can I be invited to read your blog by the way?) Daycare Lady... But in general I have no idea who is clicking on here, or what they get from it. Noe maybe you'd rather be a silent viewer - and that's cool - but I fancy a bit of chat. Or what we in Ireland call banter, so here goes:

So - do you live in somewhere much more exciting than Hertfordshire, England? I bet you do.

Do you ever give your kids cough medicine just to get them to sleep?

Have you got a crush on anyone young enough to be your kid? Or secretly your hot new neighbour?

If you had to read only one book for the rest of your life - what would it be?

Why do you read this here blog?

And finally... Salted or sweet?

Go on - come out to play? Pleeeaaassse..... It isn't even a school night.


Keenie Beanie said...

As one of your regular commenters (thanks for the shoutout) it seems only right that I kick this off:

1) I live in Portland, Oregon at the moment, by way of Indianapolis, Pittsburgh, Grand Cayman, and Portishead (Bristol). Not sure how exciting any of that is. Grand Cayman sounds much cooler than it really is.

2) I don't have kids yet - and am running out of time I guess, but I don't think I would be above giving them cough medicine just to get them to sleep. Perhaps it's not a bad thing that I don't have kids yet? I like reading your blog because of its insight into the highs and lows of marriage and motherhood, plus your great stories make me laugh.

3) One of my coworkers has a much younger brother, 20 years old if he's a day. He interned in our office this summer and every time I saw him in the hall, I couldn't stop myself from thinking impure thoughts. He's just so. damn. beautiful. (I've never confessed that to anyone before.)

4) Desert island book? I'm going to be totally nerdy here. I adore the Arthurian legend, and Marion Zimmer Bradley's treatment of it in the Mists of Avalon is brilliant. Plus it's a giant tome, so it's got that going for it.

5) I found your blog through your brilliant submissions to The Girl Who's "Great Experiment" which inspired me to start my own blog. Your writing is funny and honest and I'm always pleased when a new post pops up in my reader.

6) Sweet. Almost every time. Every once in a while I get the urge to devour an obscene amount of cheese & bacon tater skin crisps. But chewy, sticky, caramelly sweets are my favorite.

Have a great weekend, CM!

Tegan Turner said...

Ok I'll bite....
1)Central COast Australia
2) Who hasn't given the 'not really necessary panadol/nurofen dose....but better just in case!!!
3)No hot neighbours but when i went back to uni again a few years ago my bestie was a very hot 23yr old - gawd!!!!!
4)As much as i read some great books that you could mention in any company, to be honest I have read the Twilight books at least 4 times each. Before anyone laughs - i think its the love story - who doesn't remember a time when u were a teenager when it felt like ur boyfriend was THE love of ur life - an open mouthed kiss was exciting - not just a chore lol.
5)A vested interest in Crummy Mummy and her partner - i'm always gunning for the underdog and hoping that everything works itself out - gives people a little hope i think!!!
6) Salted baby - pass me the crisps anyday - just don't expect me to share!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xxx

jkelsofarrell said...

I'm not a regular commenter but I read regularly.

1. I live in Milwaukee, WI. I'm originally from Montana and spent 6.5 years in Louisiana when I was earning my PhD in English Literature.

2. No kids. Don't want them. I'm a professor so I deal with other people's adult children all the time. That chills the old ovaries.

3. I'm around younger men all the time in a college environment. Thankfully, that ruins any sort of fantasy that I might cultivate, even about the pretty ones.

I think the last true crush I had was on my husband and I'm still crushing to this day.

4. I'm a science fiction geek so I'd bring the Dragonlance Chronicles, Vurt by Jeff Noon, and the Dresden Files omnibus (which doesn't exist but should)!

5. I'm not sure how I found your blog, but I suspect The Girl Who was somewhat responsible. I'm pretty much a giant UK-phile. But really it was the honesty and pathos that you have in your writing that kept me coming back.

6. Put those hands together. Cracker Jack, Starbucks Salted Hot Chocolate, etc.

Angela said...

I live in St. Louis, Missouri but I would guess it is far less interesting or exciting than Hertfordshire, England. It is most certainly less quaint but it is home.
I haven't given my step-children cough medicine for the specific reason of sleep but I ensure the dose is sufficient to offer the sleep as a nice bonus. I mean, if they're sick they need rest - right?
No current crush on anyone young enough to be my offspring nor of a neighbor - BUT I am loving the delivery guy at work with the Aussie accent. YUM!
One book I could read again and again would be "The Kitchen God's Wife by Amy Tan. It's a book to transport you to another place and time. I'd also be pleased with a history book - I'm something of a geek at times with a healthy balance of interest in celebrity gossip rags.
I believe I found your blog through a suggested reading list but I can'checking out the suggestions of other blogger reading lists but I can't remember when or how. I was then inspired to add your blog to my regular reading list when I saw your submissions again through The Girl Who & the Great Experiment.
I've been reading Monica's blog for years.
Snack favorites depend on the day but a bit of sweet just makes the day tolerable. I happen to love chocolate covered pretzels - a bit of both sweet & salty!

Anonymous said...

So . . . .

1) York, England.

2) One child, a girl, 7 months old. I probably wouldn't give her uneccessary medicine but never say never.

3) My crush is on someone older, a celebrity chef, Marco Pierre White. When he says to a trainee on Hell's Kitchen 'Let me take you on journey' I groan to myself 'ooohhh yes please'


4) I don't think I have an all time favourite book. I tried to think but if I named a particular one, it would be a lie. I've just bought a Judy Blume book though and am look forward to some escapism in someone else's story

5) You told me to read your blog! I met you briefly in 1989 but it wasn't until the summer of 1990 you exploded into my life. I love your stories about all the thing you did, the pinning of random items on your neighbour's washing line, the star bothering (Michael Stipe romping in at no.1 purely for you being a piss-head and then being piss funny) and even though it was a low time for you, I laugh at how you were riding your bike home in York once, despairing that you were working in gap and thus not using your f***ing degree and someone threw a banana skin from their car which hit you! I read your blog, sometimes I laugh loud and sometimes I cry. It's honest, just as you are x

Anonymous said...

I forgot 6!!

Sweet, chocolate rules - yeah baby!!

A said...

The comments don't let me see the questions! OK. So, from memory and other comments:

1. I am a North London girl, through and through. I live at the bottom of the Heath, near Kentish Town. I love it.

2. No kids. Yet. One day hopefully. I imagine I would be that kind of mother that does that!

3. No, I'm too old! But, my new fling is a few years younger then me, does that count?

4. To Kill A Mockingbird. Or The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe.

5. I think you're honest, genuine, real & totally unaffected by our so called industry. You write from the heart, you share your joy and your pain. You're brave. I admire you. I love your words and your stories. You really interest me.

6. Sweet, all the time!

Shannon B said...

Happy Valentine's Day!
1. I live in the waaay northern end of California.
2. Two boys, 3 and 9. (we didn't intend to spread em apart so far) Yes, they share a room. No, they don't get along. They still find plenty of Hot Wheels to fight over. Plenty!
3. I teach middle school, so...ew!
4. I'm currently reading my favorite book. Again. To Kill a Mockingbird. The biggest joy I have while teaching is getting to revisit that book every single year!

5. Girl! I feel like we are in a similar place. We moved 3 hours from our family and friends. We needed someplace safer. Economy falls and my husband has taken a HUGE pay cut. Huge! Your shoe shopping write up had me reminscing about my former life. I have a closet filled with gorgeous hand bags that cost me a fortune. Memories of the past. Someday...
6. salty. preferably on popcorn.

Chaos said...

1)I live in Auckland, New Zealand which is my hometown, However I grew up in Hong Kong and in the last 10 years have lived in Korea, Japan and Australia. Home again now :)

2)I've given my son a little pamol before flights when he was a baby..

3) I used to have a crush on one of my close male friends. Glad I got over that! No hot neighbours here though.

4) Can't think of just one book. I don't know. Some books I have enjoyed are: The Hunger Games (aimed at teens I think!?), The Bronze Horseman, Memoirs of a Gesiha, A lantern in her hand, Kafka on the Shore, ummm...

5) I don't know how I found your blog. I read it because what you write has such a bewitching purity. It is amusing, fun, courageous, totally sincere and at times, achingly beautiful!

6) Salted/sweet. Both I think :)

ps. I just tried to invite you to my (rambly) blog but I need an email address apparently.

crummymummy said...

Thanks for all your replies - really kind of you all to stop by and comment. Plus I get to know you all that little bit more - which I love. Chaos - your photos are awesome. I used to live in Auckland way back in '95 and I heart the place. I used to bar tend at The Waterfront and the Kiwi Tavern - long since closed. I hung out at the Crow bar and Dschlers (my friend Hans ran the place) - did radio stuff at More FM, loved Surrender Dorothys in Ponsonby and my fav drive in the whole world is into town from Mission Bay... ahhh.. Must blog about NZ actually...

Thanks for all the book mentions - always good to know of new reads.

JKelsoFarrell - I love you are still crushing on your hubby. Ahhh.

CM xx

Anonymous said...

1) I live in Edinburgh, but I'm from Northern Ireland originally

2) I have never given our son cough medicine to put him to sleep, but then luckily he is a good sleeper. I did seriously consider putting a digestive biscuit into his bottle when he was 3 weeks old on the advice of that well known medical advisor my cleaner, but was thwarted by my hubby who claimed it would make him overweight, oh and then ate all the biscuits

3) This is really sad. There are some seriously fit six formers when I drop bubster off at his highly expensive independent school, I think they are so broad chested due to their good diet and rugby planning.
However if pushed for a less controversial crush I would go for Louis Theroux.

4) I absolutely love "I don't know how she does it" I know the plot is abysmal and we all hate Allison Pearson because she wrote for the Daily Mail but it captures that working mother madness like no other novel I have ever read.

5) We met on holiday in Sardinia and I remember thinking it was a shame that we lived so far away. You have a lot of verve and vitality plus your son is cute and it's nice to catch up in a deeper way than Facebook allows on what you are up to. Oh and plus you are honest about your feelings on motherhood and so few women are.

4)Both, but chocolate only for sweet.

Chaos said...

CM, that's so cool! When I'm away from NZ and feeling homesick, the Tamaki Drive route is an image I always think about, as well as the Auckland skyline at night from the Shore just before you drive across the bridge. (Was the Skytower built when you were here?) I remember the Waterfront and the Kiwi Tavern and I still listen to More FM. How funny, small world :)

Thanks for the compliment about the photos. I need to get back into it, that project died when the motherboard in my PC fried and I never revived it :/
I was referring to my personal blog though, it is listed privately and I have only two authorised readers hahhahaa.

So, CM, I think you should answer some questions too!

1) Salted or sweet?

2)Favourite book?

3) Celebrity crush?

4) What food do you hate?

5) What skill would you like to learn one day?

Please excuse me. It's a Saturday night, Kaden is in bed, I'm watching Empire of the Sun alone and I have been imbibing; perhaps a leeeeeetle too much pinot gris.

Angela, I've never read that book but I enjoyed reading The Joy Luck Club by that author. I might check out The Kitchen God's Wife some time.

I'm a bit hungry.

Anonymous said...

Will delurk for one night only!

1. Live in Brussels. Not sure how exciting that is, more pleasant and odd in equal parts.

2. No kids *yet* and the cat doesn't like cough medicine. I have a slight addiction to Calpol, though. Delicious purple goodness.

3. Nope. But do have a random work crush on the document management officer in work, which is worse.

4. Impossible. Could not survive on just one. Would have to cheat and have the complete works of everyone in one enormous volume.

5. I think you are funny.

6. Salty all the way. But salty and sweet together can be great (popcorn and maltesers, for example) said...

I am so diggin' this chat...

Chaos - ok I'll play - happily.

1. I was actually meaning popcorn tastes when I asked the question - and then it is most definitely sweet all the way. In fact a salted fan would be my old deal breaker on a date. (In my youth). But in foods in general - I am a salted gal - starter rather than dessert.. But i do agree with anonymous - I love to put matlezers in with popcorn (sweet that is) when at the movies.

2. Fav book - toughie. To kill a mocking bird for sure - I wanted to call Riley my daughter 'Scout' but hubby wouldn't let me. But I also love 'She's Come Undone' by Wally Lamb, The virgin Suicides by Jeffry Eugenides, lots of Judy Blume and Perfume (which I read on my honeymoon). Oh - Catcher in the Rye... I am also a big fan of Tennesse Williams plays and Oscar Wilde...

3. Celeb crush - used to be Brad all the way - and Johnathan Rhys Myers - but now is Riggins - Taylor Kitsch... Oh I heart Aaron Sorkin too. Most of all Brando - in his youth. Or as Fletcher Christian in Mutiny on the Bounty. D-Vine.

4. Food I hate - bananas. Anything banana flavoured. Or fat. Hate meat fat. Oh and finally oysters. YUK. Snot on a plate.

5. Skill I would like to learn - to drive better for sure. Gawd I am awful. Husband says I should not be on the road... Or to tango.

Chaos said...

I had to google those names. Taylor Kitsch is definitely hot!

I can't imagine not liking bananas :)

Anyway, I was wondering if anyone cares to respond to my pressing Question du Jour? (If not, no worries :)I know this is CM's thread and that I'm being cheeky. Sorry!! But..

How long do you think it takes before you know if you are in love with someone? Roughly. And if you are in a relationship, and it (the 'in-loveness')just doesn't seem to happen, how long should one wait before cutting ties and moving on?

Anonymous said...

To chaos.

I think you more or less fall head over heels in love with someone quite quickly. I would also get rid of someone who is just not right quickly too. . .so quickly to both is my answer x

Keeping Life Fun with one Craft at a Time said...

I will play!

1) Houston, Texas. I am 32 yrs old born and raised here. I would love to live in England. My husband and I went on a holiday to England and France when we were dating. We loved England. He has since been back for work.....maybe one day I will get to go.

2) I have three kids a 5 yr old boy and twin, boy and girl, that will turn 4 in March. I am one tired momma! I think we have tried medicine to put them to sleep, it didn't work! It kept them awake.

3) I have a crush on a trainer at my gym. He is older and HOT. Sometimes I feel bad that I think of him because I am married and I love my husband.

4) Favorite book?! I have first choice is To Kill A Mockingbird. But, I love Green Mile, A Time to kill, Pillars of the Earth, and The Shack.

5) I found you by hitting the "Next Blog". I have not read all your post but I know I will be back because I want to hear what you say. I am tired all the time so would love to just run away with my husband somewhere very far.

6) I love salty foods. however, late at night I am searching for something sweet.

Anonymous said...

Dear crummy mummy, you may know me. I like a drink (Rob Roys my new favourite) and i feel i have found in you, a likeminded soul who rates honesty as a v worthwhile virtue and who has spent many a fantastic evening in your company sinking too many cocktails, having to stop cabs to be sick and laughing at withered hands. I feel i can be truly honest with you about motherhood and men and everything in between. They say you make some of the best friends in your life when you become a mother and I feel I have in you.....Love reading your blogs and can't wait till Martini night. Oh, and I live in Hertfordshire - the home counties, who would have thought it! xxxx

Anonymous said...

1) Canterbury, Kent.
2) Na, It's not something that I ever thought of, which is a shame as I could of done with some sleep.
3) No crush, but I do have a rather spectacular imaginary life, which I would love to live.
4)The Camomile Lawn, it was a rather brilliant book to find when you are 13!
5)How I found you - through The Girl Who of course!
6) Salty, although I do love Galaxy Whole Nut but I don't buy it very often as I can never find it in the shops.