Crash!

I'd lost control of the car. I gently turned the wheel but to no avail. The wheels locked and it skidded forwards - my braking only amplifying the speed as it ploughed straight into the central reservation with an almighty bang. For a the briefest moment I was on a dodgems ride - spinning and bumping and twisting and turning. But it was the motorway, in minus 4 weather, 6 deep powdery inches of perfect snow and my little car the skater on it's glassy rink. I spun around bumped the back somehow and then careered across both lanes and into the ditch where I came to a shuddering halt.

I was shaking. Chris Moyles was still talking about his comic relief mountain climb. I was ok. No blood. No other car involved. My first thought - I won't get into work today. I reached for my phone and called my boss. A kind man pulled over and lifted the front of my car off the lane. He parked just to the right of me - hazard lights flashing so as no one ploughed into me. People were kind - several slowed down and checked I was ok. One man called the police. My boss was calm and helpful. 'All that matters is that you're not hurt.' I couldn't take it in - I was shaking. Tears threatened to spill. I had no idea what to do. I was a few miles from home - how to get there? What do I do with the shell of my car? My car - my wee trusty machine now in bits. 'A write off' the police cheerily confirmed when they arrived.

They took to me to a local service station, where in the McD's a sympathetic manager hugged me as I sobbed. I just kept thinking how lucky I was that Sproglet was safely at home and hadn't been with me. I got a cab. Drove past the wreck and teh taxi driver said I was blessed. Husband held me and Sproglet gave me dribbly kisses and looked confused to see Mummy crying. I felt so lucky but so scared. Life can just go - in a flick of a switch - a moment on the icy road. As the rest of London stayed at home - happy for a day off - I wondered what had made me so determined to get into work in the first place? Never again when the snow falls will I attempt to go ANYWHERE.

Today my neck hurts. I feel oddly downcast. I feel isolated without my car. Such a headache to have to replace it - within the alloted hire car time (21 days). I'm nervous about getting back in the saddle. Hate the pretty white stuff that makes the world look clean and bright. I feel strangely vulnerable - like I never want to get in a car again. It will pass - I hope.