Wednesday, 21 October 2009

Maybe it's because....

Things at chez CrummyMummy are looking up. I'm always bleating on about when things are going wrong - I blog to vent most of the time - so for once, I want to post when I'm pretty darn chipper.

Maybe it's because right now is my favourite time of the year: the trees a whole spectrum of reds and oranges, crisp bright days, the smell of bonfires hanging in the air as we count down to my favourite holiday - Halloween. Today I dragged poor Jen from work to Tescos to trawl through their row upon row of tat. Normally I hate tat - the plastic creepy rubbish that folk dot their abodes with at Xmas makes me feel nauseous - but at Halloween - bring on the tat I say! You can never have enough spooky crap! I spent far longer than was necessary debating over which costume to get Sproglet (Jen found a magnificent bat one and he thinks it is AMAZING) for fear of being the Mother who tried to hard or didn't try hard enough in the costume stakes at the bash Sproglet has been invited to.

Maybe it's cos I've got enough sweeties in the shape of body parts to fill my pumpkin basket and I will be bringing Halloween cheer to the (rather stressed of late) office come next Friday. My festive pumpkin lights will be strung around my desk next week while my fellow script eds shake their heads and wonder why I have regressed to being 5 again.

Maybe... because Husband and I are 5 years married on Saturday. 5 years and I still like him. At the moment I'm likin' him a whole lot. He's around more than he used to be. We curl up on the sofa and drink feisty reds and watch rubbish tv - like we have begun our own hibernation. Sproglet creeps down the stairs and jumps between us, thinking life on the ground floor is way too exciting for him to meet the sandman. Husband's taking Sproglet to this 'Little Kickers' football training club on Sunday mornings and feeling like a proper Dad - doing sports stuff with his son. He was even willing to attend a kid's party with me on Sat - at a complete stranger's house. Their kid knows Sproglet from nursery - hell, Sproglet has better social life than me - and we duly went along. Watching him try and hide his bursting pride at Sproglet's ability to share and hang out with other kids, makes me go all gooey.

Or it could be that I have a day and a half off work and am getting some much needed book research done. Plus I'm taking Sproglet to see 'UP' on Saturday - and I don't know which one of us is more excited - the reviews are amazing! Apparently I'll need to take a box of Andrex with me as I realise that part of getting older is letting go of your youthful dreams...

Could be that I'm loving my new Mac nail varnish - limited edition which I sourced at the only shop in the UK still to have a bottle. A good shade of purple and yes, there is one. I know, I need to get out more...

Is potentially due to the fact that I have met some cool Mothers - finally! And have made plans to drink with them - not just play dates! They are down to earth, warm, honest and are not militant mothers - hurrah!

Might be because a lovely writer I worked with sent me a cool piece of vintage jewellery as a way of thank you - and I have just published my week of scripts at work - life becomes calmer (fingers crossed) for a week or two.

Is definitely because I'm having those needles inserted tomorrow - a dose of acupuncture with the most amazing woman I know. Is also because a wise friend of mine Hannah told me exactly why I have forgiven my Father and not my Mother (because he is the life and soul of a party and is so much more like me, or me like him, that I somehow absolved him of blame) and I was so ashamed at how simple this was, how shallow, and how right she was - that it has changed my attitude to my Mother completely. She is having a new knee put in this weekend and I've started to realise how precious time is - and I don't want to waste any more of it feeling sad or angry. It is time not only to forgive - but to try and forget. This is my work in progress, but I'm starting with a new frame of mind and it strangely gives me some peace.

Think it might be because I'm taking my best mate for a night in Husband's swanky hotel on her birthday in a few weeks - Sproglet is coming too. It's called 'Girls' night in' and we get DVDs of Dirty Dancing and the like, Diptique candles, boxes of sweets, cocktails galore and in room manicures - bliss. She needs some serious TLC. A night of wrong food and right drinks and I am sure she'll feel better.

Most of all I think it is because I've started this small thing. Bear with me, because it sounds a load of wank. But I've tried to think every day about what I'm grateful for. Are you vomiting yet? I know, some days it aint so easy to even crack a smile let alone be grateful for anything other than making it through the bastard day - but I am giving it a go. Plus Sproglet is just brilliant at the minute - definitely my favourite age. He is bargaining with me to give up his dummies to Santa at Xmas - as long as he gets Buzz Lightyear. Every day brings more fresh bargains than an East End market.

Thr Grinch in me has gone into hiding. For this festive Happy Halloween period I'm pretty freakin happy. Catch me while you can...

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