Friday, 3 December 2010

Me and Sproglet

Sproglet and I have been sharing bath time of late. Bless him, he loves it - even though I am a beached whale, taking up three quarters or more of the tub and somehow trapping his bath toys underneath my girth. We chat about school and Santa and 'Alan' calendars - with gems about 'At school we heard about Mary and Joseph and baby Jesus, but at nursery the other day I found out about the bad kings who want to kill baby Jesus. Why would a king want to kill a baby?' Fair comment... Anyway, the other night he piped up with 'I was a baby in your tummy and I came out and Daddy cried, and now you have another baby in your tummy.' I felt a big lump in my throat rise up and I explained that no matter about the new baby - he would always be my special boy. He nodded sagely then threw his arms around my bump.

For so long it has been me and him: when I used to fly to Ireland for my show every weekend when he was 4 months old; trips to Belfast and York to see relatives; the whole time I was out of work trying to become a script ed; our movies afternoons and playdates - it has been just the two of us. Suddenly as I lifted a mound of ever growing bubbles from his wee head - it hit me, that it would never be the same again. I felt this ridiculous sadness. Don't get me wrong, I'm over the moon to give him a sibling - something I never had - but I just felt this inexplicable loss. I pulled him close to me and kissed his wet cheek. He has been the biggest joy and surprise of my life - filled some lost void inside me that churned for years until his arrival. He makes me laugh more than anyone else and fills me with a pride that only parents can appreciate. I thought I'd upload some pics of my time so far with my beautiful son.

Finn, I love you.


Anonymous said...

He is a gorgeous little boy!

Keenie Beanie said...

(Sniffle) This is so sweet!

Jane said...

He is really beautiful. A loss but a gain also. Great post and I love the pics.

Chaos said...

This post made me tear up AS WELL... stop doing that to me!

It is absolutely precious.

It would be cool if one day when he's all 'growed-up' (as my boy puts it) he could read this post from his fabulous mama.

Thank you for sharing.