Saturday, 23 November 2013

Things I learned learnt this week part 2.

No. 1 Never ever Facebook while drunk and pre-menstrual. It will come to NO Good. You will have bad, wrong knee jerk reactions to things that through an alcoholic blur will seem vastly important - as you subsequently think your opinions are. Which you will then unleash. Then you will wake up the next day with a foggy memory of turning into a Mean Girl - ironic really as that is what you were watching at the time - and a heavy leaden guilty feeling that will follow you like a bad smell all day.

Whilst I'm on the subject, a colleague recently said that Facebook started out as a fun host of the party, all 'come on in, this is fun' and now is at the creepy stage of the night, suggesting we all do drugs and touch each other. I concur. I'm tired of flipping over to FB to see pictures of dead children assaulting me from nowhere, or 'like and if I get 6 million then I might consider vaguely committing to my girlfriend of 15 years.' For every cute lost teddy reunited with it's teary owner, is 50 awful 'Love is a butterfly, now go be one and spread your wings angel' mush that makes me want to instantly un-friend the poster.

I'm all for folk sharing their lives - I have looked at countless wedding pics of people I DON'T EVEN KNOW (but mates of mine went to the wedding), but there comes a point when you wonder who is it for? To share a moment, or a moment made just to share? Aaron Sorkin famously said that Facebook is just a stage, a place for folk who have never had the chance - to perform - and he refused to be on it. Husband refuses to join saying he sees everyone he wants to see and that is all he needs. His anti-facebook rant is really quite something. Somewhere though, there is a happy medium - but I'm not sure what that is. And definitely NOT happy if drunken facebooking, like I said.

No. 2 Handing in one's notice is an anti-climax, but still feels pretty good, if slightly scary. I head off into the unknown on Feb 8th.  What's next? A trip to make my bank manager be understanding that is for sure... I'm scared, but I'm also relieved - an end is in sight. There is a finish line - hurrah! Not that I won't miss my work buddies - I will, enormously - but I won't miss feeling that I'm not really present enough for my kids. And the tonne of homework my son gets. If this is what it is like at 7, what will it be like when he is 11??

No. 3. It is ok, (I think) to take the left over baking your Aunt brought on Halloween, and 're-cycle' it for the school bake sale... er.... two weeks later. Well no reports of anyone dying so far, but there is a nasty stomach bug doing the rounds at school....

No. 4 NEVER feed a hungry kid who has been sick that day and sent home from school, even if they BEG you. Because that bagel and yoghurt - you'll be seeing them again later. On your rug. ALL over it. Nice.

No. 5 If you don't do enough 'slideshows' and get them all up in the first two weeks of blogging, you will end up with LOW hits on your blogging job. Please people, if you can - can you click here and here and here and here. A LOT. Oh and share and tweet and kiss and love a little. Then maybe they won't fire my ass. I thank you.

No. 6 Xmas isn't going to go away, so you'd better get with it - and quickly Humbug. Those present lists will have to be dealt with at some stage - but please people, can't we do this in December? Y'know the actual Xmas month?? Memo to self - don't talk gifts IN FRONT of your kids. Sproglet wants Battleship. Bonus - £15 Toys R Us. He piped up with this and then Husband announced, 'Oh no, you don't want that one. You want the one that has all the sound effects. The one I had as a kid. We MUST be able to get that somehow.' 'Yes, yes, I want THAT one,' Sproglet chirps. Great! Collectors item on ebay! ££££!!

No. 7 That sometimes, when you least expect it you get great news, and hope. All you need to do is work hard, have some luck and always have a plan B. preferably C too. Then A works out. Odd that but true.

No. 8 That whilst Starbucks mince pies are the BEST mince pies in the UK, (I have tried Tesco, M & S, Waitrose - own and Heston, shortcrust and pastry, Costa, Sainsburies and Greggs) you really shouldn't feel it is your duty to stuff as many of them down your neck as possible 'because it is Christmas.' Unless you want a tum to rival Santa's. Ho Ho Ho.


Katy Regan said...

Cool blog Suz! I really enjoyed it. I particularly like the bagel and yoghurt story - is it just me or do you have more vomit incidents in your house than the average person?! Anyway, I don't think you should beat your self up about the FB drunken rant. It cracked me up, mainly because it's SO the kind of thing I would do. In fact I once just wrote 'shut up' on someone's post when I was drunk. Oh yeah, so don't feel bad x

tiffany said...

Hey, I have a quick question I wanted to ask you about your blog, do you think you could send me an email when you get this? Thanks! Tiffany

Courtney said...

congrats on turning in your notice - that is just fantastic. Sure, scary, but I imagine your quality of life is going to improve drastically - I hope to be able to do the same thing someday, for a job with fewer hours and ideally a bit more creative bent.