Friday, 4 April 2014

Why do you have to be a wanker?

That, people, is my question of the day.

I just don't understand folk - I don't. Why take the wanker path when you could be a nice person? When that little smidgeon of pleasantness could resonate with someone's life and make their day. Why go out of your way to be sarcastic, or cold, or rude, or off? Why not have some grace, some manners?

Here are the things that irritate the hell out of me - that could in a moment be rectified:

On the road, if I let you out, sit and wait in my car when in fact I had the right of way, but you were speeding on ahead, so I kindly waited, let you through - when it was my RIGHT to go forward and make YOU go back - all you have to do is wave your clammy hand to say thank you and I'll be fine. But you don't and I want to kill you.

When you're being served in a restaurant, or bar - does it make you feel big to pick on the waiter? To be rude and snappy when all they are trying to do is make your fecking champagne colder?? Why belittle them? To make yourself feel bigger? Are you short or something?

When I text you, or email you - isn't it polite to respond? Just an acknowledgment. Folk that like to play the whole 'no reply - ha! I have the power' game make me want to claw out their eyes. There is no game. It's called manners. Grow up.

At events where I know no one, wouldn't it be nice to say hello, make some small talk? No one likes kids' parties, having to be there just because your child can't yet wipe their arse, so why not have some chat, be friendly - you know, make it easier for everyone. In fact, kids' parties should come replete with liquor - then they'd be MUCH better.

Anyone, at all, who is in a position of power and bullies those beneath them - not physically, but with words (often things that remain unsaid in fact) and their manner - you should be ashamed of yourselves. Having been on the receiving end of this - a miserable director in 2003 - the worst experience of my life in fact - I know what it is like to feel hated, to be miserable, to stay awake at night fretting over the next encounter. Why can't we all just treat people how we'd like to be treated? Simple but true.

When my kid scoots off faster than Lewis Hamilton on a good day, don't come up to me and in a condescending manner announce that 'she was was very far away...' like I am some bad parent - especially if YOU have your kid on a leash. All this parent judging - feck that. Do what works for you and leave everyone else alone. Each to their own and all.

Buy a fucking a drink. When you spend the night at a table and gleefully accept drinks from the entire table - put your hand in your pocket and buy a goddamn drink you tightarse. Or else, sup water.

Most of the time, people who actively enjoy making others feel bad are wildly insecure. The most secure, talented folk I have met/worked with are nothing short of lovely - why? Because they have nothing to prove - they are happy in their skin. Get some therapy and stop taking your insecurities out on other people. It aint big or clever.

Be honest. Honesty is perhaps the most underrated of virtues. I appreciate honesty most than anything else. It takes guts - but aren't the people you value most in life those that you can be honest with? And can be honest with you?

Jealousy is bitterness swallowed up. It makes folk do funny things. So things didn't work out for you like you expected - big deal. Try something else, try another path. There is ZERO point in being jealous of others - who it DID work out for - and reacting to them in a detrimental way because of it. Their life has NO bearing on you at all. We're all guilty of the old green monster creeping up on our shoulders once in a while - and it can spur us on in a good way. Just don't make it your master. Green isn't a fetching shade.

Being pleasant costs nothing. People have made my day with their small acts of kindness: the man across the road who helped fix our wobbly loo seat; the nice guy at carphone warehouse who moved all my phone numbers across for me; the sweet boy who carried my xmas tree up the hill to my home; the person who bought me a coffee when I had forgotten my purse; the nursery that agreed to keep my daughter on 3 days a week for free; the man who I crashed my car into who didn't ask for money - but just asked me to donate to his just giving page; the boys on the train who made me a gin and tonic with ice and lemon. All small acts of kindness...

In reality, no one needs to be a wanker, so why be it?


AG said...

I LOVE THIS. Well said. There really is no need to be anything but nice.

Anonymous said...

Very well said. No need to be horrible and to belittle anyone. Bullies are insecure and everyone needs to be loved and appreciated. Getting that message across is the most challenging. Three friends in thre months in three too much!

fridayam said...

Lovely post, and "Hear, hear" :) x