Saturday, 11 October 2014

At last

Ahhhhh at last. Autumn is here. Crisp cold-ish days with a sun splitting the sky, a slight nip in the air as we all crunch through the multi-coloured leaves.

I trudge up the seemingly vertical hill to school every day and smile as I negotiate my way through a snicket that smells of pine and damp. The sprogs chatter and we repeat Sproglet's spellings, Sproglette repeats her own thoughts of the day - relentlessly until we stop and pay attention her every word. For such a small person, she sure does pack in a lot of personality.

The Halloween decorations call me from the attic, and with no shame I can tell you that one of the highlights of my week was finding that Sainsburies hadn't run out of giant spider decorations after all. The celebrations are just 3 weeks away and yes, we are counting the days. This is always my favourite time of year - when the jumpers come out, the clocks go back, it is ok to say 'no' to any invitation that involves more than a twenty minutes taxi ride. The box sets come out (Husband has broken the cardinal rule and gone ahead on Game of Thrones, leaving me languishing in series 2) and the heating goes on. All the pent up angsty weather of summer - the humidity followed by thunder storms and punishing sunshine - has gone. It's the glory days before the frosts of winter descend and the isolation that snow brings in it's flurried wake.

It has been a fabulous week, for many reasons - not that it brought anything definitive for me, more that it brought hope -  bucket loads of the stuff. There was the Bake Off final replete with pizza, a buddy getting a spanking new job, an offer to read an old Parenthood script from someone amazing, cake and coffee with my family just because it was Friday, our decrepit old hall being FINALLY painted (we have only lived here 6 years....) and a good friend sticking his neck out and recommending me to his boss - which was possibly the best bit of all. When people go out of their way for you, champion you - there really is nothing better. It is the ultimate kindness isn't it? There are days I wish I was rich - not to buy myself diamonds and designer clobber - but because I'd like to take all the people who have helped me along the way, to a damn fine dinner and many many cocktails. Maybe one day I'll be able to do this.

Now I have to kind of put my money where my mouth is and actually see if I can write after all. To say I'm terrified is an understatement. Having worked for so long with some incredibly talented folk, there is the fear - but can I do this myself? Hell, I'll die trying.

Yesterday as I walked down the hill from school in the morning sunshine, I realised that my entire career has been peaks and troughs: the highs of being offered a presenting job on Trouble TV, or my own live show on UTV in Ireland, the lows of scrabbling around for money working in a book store and having to be a waitress at the hellhole that was Momos restaurant. There have been so many moments where I thought 'This is it! I'm here - arrived. I don't need to worry any more,' only to wind up hating the job, or the show getting cancelled or the director being satanic or whatever. The lesson I should have learnt is that it is all just one big journey - a marathon rather than a sprint and you ultimately never 'arrive.'

The other lesson I learned, is one that I should have cottoned on to years ago. When a prescription you are on says 'DO NOT DRINK' maybe pay heed. Because otherwise, two nice glasses of red later, you'll spent a night violently vomming in a most undignified manner. And before you ask, there is a dignified way to vom. I've mastered that art years ago.

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