Saturday, 20 March 2010

To blog or not to blog...

So I'm leaving work this week. All the twisted knots of fear about doing so have dissolved - and after a kind fellow editor read the humble beginnings of my book - and liked it (hurrah!) my head is now back in book zone and I can't wait to get crackin' on it.

With that in mind, I'm debating taking a short hiatus from blogging. Concentrate in just the one thing maybe... I started blogging as a way of venting my mother infused frustrations - to reach out and see if there are were other like minded souls out there, who go through similar stuff. Lately it feels like I'm talking to myself - which is fine - I regularly do so in the flesh (at least I am assured of good conversation, I remind myself when I think sound mad)- and I never blogged to get comments or win admirers. But occasionally - when I'm vein-poppingly angry (see 'Bitter Pill' below) my god I'd give up chocolate just to have a couple of people pitch in with a 'I feel the same' story or two.

The thing I'm most excited about is having time back in my life again. Time to get food in, attend all Sproglet's school activities, time to search his head for nits (oh the joy of children - the school keeps getting plagued with the bastards - the horror, the horror - I have a memory of having them aged 9 and my Mother dousing my hair in vinegar - I smelled like a chip shop for a week), time to exercise, time to pick curtains for our lounge so the world isn't watching me thump across the room to my body combat DVDs like a small sweaty elephant squeezed into lycra, time to hang out with Sproglet rather than collapse onto the sofa beside him - giving myself over to the tv and berating myself for doing so.

Most of all I'll have the head space and time for this book - fingers crossed I can pull it outta the bag. Wish me luck!

9 comments:

AG said...

I'm sorry. I have been reading for some time now, as you know, and haven't left a supportive comment yet. If you stop blogging, I will miss reading your stories, but if that means your book is written and out sooner, then I can live with that!

Best of luck to you with the writing. I really hope you enjoy the experience and time away from the craziness of work. I can't wait to read it, and I will be first in line to buy a copy, and get it signed! Xo

Keenie Beanie said...

CM - I'm so glad to hear that fears about the end of your job have dissolved, that you are fired up about your book project and that you are looking forward to the advantages of being at home with Sproglet.

It is a shame that you felt met with deafening silence to a post like Bitter Pill. That was brutally honest writing and I appreciate the fact that you laid it on the line. I also really felt for you going through those emotions.

I thought long and hard about commenting, but felt that perhaps it wouldn't be appropriate to do so since I couldn't say I feel the same way right now, even while dealing with my own current fears about job security. And a platitude about how I hope you'll feel better about things soon seemed banal or even condescending. Shame I didn't just say at least "I hear you, girl!"

I'll miss you if you take a blog hiatus but will look forward to hearing from you when you come back.

Good luck with the book and be sure to let us know when you are published! You can contact me at my blog to preserve your public anonymity when the time comes, but I really would like to read it.

Janice Okoh said...

I sometimes feel like that when I blog. That I'm talking to myself. If one person replies, I'm thrilled!

I really like your honesty. It's rare to find honest and emotional blogs.

Blog for yourself. If you stop enjoying it then you shouldn't blog.

The Nagging Cow said...

Sorry to hear you are quitting - please don't, I only just found your blog. Really enjoy reading it and I totally sympathise. My daughter is a little bit older than your kid and I only just got back to being me again. Writing keeps me sane and gives me an escape from the domestic drudgery and boring, child obsessed people, that clutter up Derbyshire - and my life. Keep writing, and good luck with your book.

Daycare Lady said...

I hope you don't stop blogging - I love your posts and get really excited when a new one pops up in my reader, (sad I know, but true). So happy you are writing a book and truly can't wait to read it.

I don't know about other people but I feel a bit odd commenting on emotionally charged posts of people I have never met, for me it feels a bit like I'm trespassing. But, I know it always helps to know that other people are going through a similar thing as you. What I have been going through for the last three years is not exactly the same as what you are experiencing, but I do know what it feels like to work 12 hours a day (sometimes 6/7 days a week) then have to give half of everything you have, including the thing you cherish most in life (for me, this is my son) to someone you not only care nothing for but who has caused you and the people you love a great deal of pain. It’s bloody shitty and sometimes it makes so angry I could spit nails.

I read your blog because I like it, it’s funny, it’s real, and because you are not afraid to write about how you are really feeling. I am… afraid. Even though when it comes to my writing I am still a coward, I derive an odd sense of strength from reading yours. I hope you don’t stop.

I wish you the best of luck with your book – Daycare Lady

brittany mum said...

dont even THINK about stopping, girl! ...:) just love it too much!!

Jane said...

I've been reading your blog for a little over a year now, but I'm not much of a commenter. Going to change that!!

You're a very talented writer and I would miss reading your posts if you quit, even for a little while, but I know the book comes first. I'll be in line to buy it when it's published!

BTW, there aren't many blogs that I've found that are so honest and entertaining at the same time.

Anonymous said...

Don't stop lady - otherwise I am going to have to call you to find out how you are doing!

Chaos said...

I only stumbled upon your blog recently, and I find it utterly captivating!

You write with so much 'soul'. I don't know how else to put it. Its truth is powerful and dimensional. At the risk of sounding a bit... airy-fairy... I think your talent creates connections that can resonate within the hearts of the readers, regardless of whether our experiences are identical, or only vaguely similar. I don't think this effect can be faked.

I admire you for your courage and your tenacity and of course, your remarkable writing skills :) I also get excited when I notice that you have updated your blog! Whether it's amusing, moving or ponderous, it's ALWAYS a rewarding experience. So, thank-you!

I hope you don't stop writing in this blog. I find it inspiring. And in any case, I hope you will announce the title of your book here so that I know when to race out to Whitcoulls and demand a copy!!

I wish you all the best for your book. What a fabulous adventure you are about to embark upon :)

x Koru