Tuesday, 15 April 2008

To do... no.124,678

Well I did it. I turned 35. A new box. A new chapter. It was a breeze actually. I just drank some cocktails, got a cute card from sproglet and berated husband for not getting me cake or flowers (he will be shelling out for some summer footwear pour moi though). A very chilled day. Lots of facebook messages and text messages and people enjoying the fact they are younger than me. Who isn't these days?

But oh my god - the lists. The endless fecking lists that have emerged to haunt my waking moments and sleeping ones too. My head feels like it is about to explode under the weight of 'to dos.' I know starting a new job is stressful. I know that moving house is stressful. I know that renting out a property is stressful. I know children are stressful. I know finding good childcare is even more stressful. Put all said stressful ingredients into a large mixing bowl, stir with woman on anti-depressants, a husband's 65 hour working week, add a pinch of short tempers and dollop of not enough time in the day and voila! You have a nervous breakdown in the making!

Why does everything come at once? I am trying to exchange on new house but mortgage people are on go slow... Solicitors ask impossible questions. I have to buy beds, paint my flat, get carpets cleaned and boiler certificates. But furniture and organise delivery at new home. Pack. Move. Find a nursery for sproglet where fairies make organic angel cakes and they skip over rainbows and drink nectar from bluebell cups and the like to ease my enormous motherhood guilt at going back to work. Thank god I am not Catholic is all I can say - as my guilt weighs me down and I'm not even there yet.

I haven't moved from the sofa in two hours - making calls, writing lists, sending emails. Sorting it all out. Of course I am still buzzing about new job - but the reality of 9-6 5 days a week will hit me like a tonne of bricks. Don't hate me - but I haven't done full time work since '99!! Apart from the odd 6 week or 9 week stint (twice) I have just presented here and there - 10 days a month maybe. I know... I'll stop talking now. Life is about to change. But I promise to still blog.

BTW - I was handed a strange package in the street the other week. Turns out it was skincare from Japan. I stuffed it in a drawer and forgot about it until Sunday, when I decided to give it a bash. An oil cleanser, soap, toner and moisturiser. OH MY GOD. I have skin softer than sproglet. Buy some now. DHC. Genius. See, even in my wild list world, I still have time to drop in some product wisdom. At 35 I need to know my onions. Or rather olive oil based products. Buy it!

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