Sunday, 12 August 2012

In a bit of a K-Stew

Consider for a second that you are a movie star - and A list movie star, whose every move is stalked by a hounding slobbering group of paparazzi, and you are dating your equally famous co-star. Shunning the limelight, you've managed to keep your on-set relationship a secret for a long long time - until the odd snap of you holding hands has surfaced: blurred, out of focus and taken on a phone. Eventually, after the 2nd movie in this $$$$$ making franchise has been released, you concede that yes you are in a relationship - the 'secret' is out but you want privacy. Hoards of die hard fans swarm to the next movie - elated that the love they see on screen is in fact real.

Cut to this year, when you decide to go for a drive and a walk, in daylight with your new 'lover.' You do all the things that you never did in your long term relationship outdoors, for fear of being seen. You canoodle, you gesticulate wildly, you lean into each other - and he even looks directly down the camera lens. Not for you an affair behind closed doors of a sprawling rental home, hotel or getaway. Nope you go for it outside for all to see. In bright crystal clear sunshine. Kissing inside the car - but maybe that isn't going to be clear... how about a walk! Yes, a walk to look out over... erm, the roads and hills and stuff, where you can canoodle some more. Yes, great plan. But whoops! There's a photographer hiding in the bushes! No, really? I never knew!!! How could that happen??? Little old me being followed? Well I never...

The photos are published. You issue a forlorn statement repetitively saying how much you love your co-star. How wrong you have been with this stupid indiscretion. The world is outraged! Papers are sold in the dull summer months... Mad fans cry on line and beg you to come to your senses. Die hard fans wait with baited breath to see if you and your vampire lover will be united again - just in time for the final instalment of this lame ass series - to complete the fantasy story. You star ascends higher; the 'relationship' you have has even more currency - although if it ends, so be it - the PR job on the movies has been done. The man you are caught with is suddenly a known director and his wife, a model past model-day prime - now is well known enough to carve out an acting career. Everyone's a winner!


The biggest idiots in this whole charade are those that believe it, who buy into the PR bullshit we are spun to make $$$. Apart from the fact this actress has only one facial expression and couldn't act her way out of a paper bag (likewise her 'handsome' posh co-star). Isn't it time our role models were the likes of Jessica Ennis and Mo Farah - talented determined athletes who train religiously and have earned their stripes? Isn't it time we walked away from all the media manipulation and said 'who gives a shit? Those movies sucked anyway!'

Just a thought.

1 comment:

brittanymum said...

you are soooo right!!!
love it!!! :))