Wednesday, 21 November 2012


So this week I have discovered three things that may change my life:

1. Quilted toilet paper is really an underrated pleasure. I will never go back to any other type again. It really is the little things in life, eh?
2. Egyptian cotton sheets are FUCKING incredible - even from cheap Dunelm. With a new duvet cover and new pillow cases - OMG - it is like crawling back into your Mother's womb. They are all so soft.
Yes, there is a theme of the week here - and it is comfort. I bought a new duvet (had our last one since we married and ironically like our marriage - it has had it's day) and it too is 'supersoft' even though it is incased in a cover. Who cares, it had me at 'soft.'
3. When I am tired, I weep more than Gwyneth Paltrow with an Oscar in her fist.

The reason I know this, is after a pretty crappy Friday, and wine oblivion to help this crappy Friday end quicker - plus a teething child waking through the night and an early start - coupled with no heating/hot water, rain thundering down and grumpy kids equalled me in the street, sobbing, kicking a door - unable to get in to my best mate's house for a much needed shower. She had given me keys (before you think I was attempting my first break in) but they didn't work... and the code to her spare key box thing worked - but only produced one key - and she had double bolted her door. So I looked A. Mad and B. Like something out of a bad soap opera extracting revenge on my Husband's Ho in front of two stunned children.

Sproglet had to rub my back and say 'breathe Mummy, breathe.' At that point I realised something else: my life is currently not working. I am being a crappy Mother. Who sobs in the car in front of their kids? Who kicks a door in frustration because they can't wash their neither regions for day?

Something is not working. Nope it aint.

Something has to give. Husband and I are back in 2009 - playing the old 'who is the most tired?' row... and the 'who did the most today? Me! No Me!' game. We are tired and grumpy and stressed and when we get two minutes alone all we do is talk chores and what we should have done:
"Why can't you wash out bottles?"
"Are you ever going to put the Halloween decorations in the loft?"
"Did you get loo roll?"
"Your turn to deal with Sproglette's teething nappy..."
"Un un. Is yours. I dealt with her crapping in the bath yesterday."
"When are we having sex again?"
"When you stop nagging."
"When you wash."

Etc. So I am going to make some changes. Because I feel pretty ground down. I even looked at horoscopes. Yep - I was THAT desperate. And it turns out something is in retrograde that is pretty major and that means that all forms of communications are fucked until Nov 29th. So in 8 days - it all gets much rosier; finally people will start replying and talking and not being at cross purposes. Because trust me - I have had such communication issues with someone at the mo - that it is practically like we are speaking different languages. In fact that is easier - at least that would be speaking.

Maybe in 8 days Husband and I will have an actual conversation rather than a row. Perhaps folk will return my texts, calls, emails. Perhaps I will know what changes to make, to not be this crazzzeee door kicking person. Until then I'm all about the comfort. Trust me. Invest in that loo paper and those sheets.

You're welcome.


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